From the Archive: Funemployment is a lie

"From the Archive" is a series of posts that I wrote on past, no-longer-updated blogs that I feel are good enough to need a new home.

This post was originally written in May 2012.

That might seem a little harsh. But I keep hearing the term "funemployment" and to me, it's wrong (it's also short-sighted and privileged; we can get into that in a bit). For me, being unemployed has not been fun.

Since I finished grad school in December 2010, I haven't been able to find a full-time job. It isn't for lack of trying or laziness, contrary to some Republican 1% views. I can't even begin to count how many applications I've sent out in the past year and a half. I've tried for jobs that seem ambitious, jobs that I think I'm overqualified for, jobs that excited me, jobs I'd have to acquiesce to performing every day, jobs withing my field, jobs outside but vaguely related to my field, day jobs like retail and bartending, basically everything you can imagine. I've considered NYC Teaching Fellows and the Peace Corps as back-ups.

I've had some freelance work and part-time gigs, but still nothing lasting or full-time. And then, in March, the job that was my primary source of income (but still part-time) informed me they were low on funds and couldn't pay me. So I was let go, though with the caveat that they'd like me back if they got their act together and I was still searching.

So aside from a once-a-week unpaid knitting column, two short (volunteer) shifts for a punk news blog and the occasional photo slideshow (the only one that pays a little), I've been unemployed for nearly two months. It sucks. I've been sending out my resume everywhere that I can, and I've had two interviews -- one was on the phone, and I didn't make the cut to in-person, the other got as far as a writing test, but I still didn't get it.

I know, there are a few perks. I can sleep late and run errands in the middle of weekdays when the city is less crowded. But that's about it.

Want to hear the downside? I am almost out of money. I'm still living with my parents with no prospect of leaving any time soon. I feel like a worthless human being, who contributes nothing to the world. Basically, it's like I'm in a waiting room, biding my time until my life starts.

So I'm going this week to meet with a staffing agency. It isn't a career move. They only do receptionist and office work, and just temporary assignments. But it's something. It gets me out of the house and making a little money while I work on finding a longer-term position. I hope it works out, because I need it to.

I said we'd get to why the term "funemployment" is privileged and short-sighted, and here it is: anyone who can use the term is very lucky. You've clearly got something keeping you going, whether it's a trust fund or savings from a past job, or a supportive partner, or whatever. Many people who are unemployed are far worse off. I'm not including myself in that because I have parents who let me stay with them for free. But there are millions out there who are unemployed and having no fun whatsoever. They are losing their homes, relying on food stamps to feed their families, and falling way behind on bills. They aren't relishing in sleeping until 11:00 and wearing sweatpants all day. So that's another reason I don't like the term.

Creating Structure Where There is None

Something that is tricky about unemployment for me is the complete lack of structure or schedule. Sure, it's nice to be able to sleep in and do things at my own pace, but this also means it's easy for me to languish and spend all of my time doing absolutely nothing.

So I've decided to try something out. I'm going to set small daily goals for myself that will keep me motivated to do something beneficial. I'm not going to far as to try and schedule every aspect of my life, but I think having a few things to do will help me out.

I'm not going to use a planner, because I'm not scheduling exact times. I'll just list my goals in a notebook, like so:

 And when I complete them, I'll mark them off in a different color and add any notes I want, like this:

I may try to use this blog to keep myself honest and motivated, so bear with me. Or feel free to join in and set yourself some goals as well.

Reflections on Losing My Job

In my last post, I wrote about having lost my job only a few days after it happened. In the nearly three weeks since then, I've been working on sorting out my feelings on the matter, and feel like I've figured a few things out. I'd like to share some tips and reflections I've come up with.

• Don't be ashamed. People lose their jobs for a lot of reasons. Assuming you didn't do something awful like steal or harass people, try not to let the cause of your termination (if you were given one) haunt you. Forgive yourself if you need to, try to learn from it, and move forward.
• Rely on whatever support system you have. I am fortunate, I know, that my parents are nearby and willing to help me financially. I would prefer to be completely independent, but I'm not. And I have rent and bills that I need help with. Instead of wallowing, I am accepting the help while trying to find a way to get back on my feet.
• Apply for unemployment. Government aid is there for a reason. Besides, you were paying into it. There's no shame in taking help. That's why it exists. No, it won't solve all of your problems, but it's there to give you a little cushion so you aren't completely lost. The labor department for your state should have a website with info.
• Take some time to grieve, but don't wallow. Obviously, your financial need may dictate how long you can go before finding more work, but it can be healthy to take a few days and be sad and angry or consider plans for firebombing your former place of employment (note: don't actually do that). But don't let yourself fall into a hole you can't climb out of. Start looking for jobs as soon as you feel sort of human again.
• Keep yourself busy. It's really easy to sleep all day and watch Netflix all evening. And maybe that makes you feel better for a few days. But try and do some productive things as well. Clean your apartment. Read. Work on that novel, or some crafts, or whatever creative outlet you've been meaning to try. Find free events and explore your city. Find things that you enjoy but haven't had time to do, and do them in between sending out job applications.
• Stay up-to-date. Make sure your resume is accurate and you have a good basic cover letter you can tailor to different job applications. On top of that, keep abreast of happenings in your field. Do some research. Also, follow the news every day. If you land an interview you want to be as sharp as possible, and not like someone who just crawled out of a cave and threw on a suit.

Sorting Out Feelings

It's been a few days, and I'm ready to talk about it more publicly: I was fired from Purl Soho on Friday.

I'm still not completely sure why. The manager wouldn't give me a concrete reason, only that it "wasn't a good fit." This has, of course, raised my hackles. I find this pretty suspicious. It seems to me that if it were a legit, concrete reason, I would have been told. So likely it was something superficial (my brain naturally goes to assuming the fat chick didn't fit into their aesthetic, which is all-white, female, and a bit snooty) that they couldn't tell me because of obvious reasons.

I have gone through a whole range of emotions since then. Anger, sadness, vengeance (is that an emotion? Whatever). I'm sure I'm not done yet, either. But I have to move on, because I'm too good to waste myself wallowing over a menial job.

So what's next? I don't know. I am going out of town this weekend, then again later in July, so I don't know that I'll be able to find another job right away. I have a little money saved from work and last year's student loans, so I will be OK until my fall loans come through. I also applied for unemployment, but I don't know if I worked long enough to collect.

Maybe I'll spend the next two months enjoying myself. Reading, exploring my city, and working on some writing and photography projects. Hey, J.K. Rowling was on public assistance when she wrote the first Harry Potter novel, and William Peter Blatty was collecting unemployment when he wrote The Exorcist.