Nail Polish Frivolity

I did a fun little manicure last night, with accent nails and even making little dots with a special tool.

Those are both colors from my Julep Maven shipments. The yellow is Daisy and the purple is Eden. I'm a really big fan of the Julep polishes. They go on nicely and last quite well. I've also got their polymer top coat and it gives my nails a nice protective barrier. I've been a Maven for almost a year and I don't have any complaints.

Facebook: Breastfeeding Bad, Sex Trafficking Good

Earlier today, a friend made me aware of a Facebook page for Songachi, which is the red light district in Kolkata, India. She just returned from a trip there and was working on a post for her own blog when she came across the page -- which, by the way, has about 3,000 likes. She explained that many of the women who are sex workers in the district are minors, and most are there against their will. Essentially, this page and those who like it are supporting sex trafficking.

In addition to the trafficking element, the page contains many explicit photos, including women masturbating and performing oral sex. There is really nothing about the page that doesn't violate Facebook's TOS.

So I and many of my friends reported it. I believe most of us chose to call it sexually explicit. I would think that, in light of Facebook's recent announcement that it would take pages encouraging violence against women seriously, it would be a no-brainer and the page would be removed.

So imagine my rage when I got the following reply.

Hi,

Thanks for your recent report of a potential violation on Facebook. After reviewing your report, we were not able to confirm that the specific page you reported violates Facebook's Statement of Rights and Responsibilities.

Learn more about what we do and don't allow by reviewing the Facebook Community Standards: https://www.facebook.com/communitystandards.

Thanks,
Viki

Give us feedback to let us know how we are doing: https://www.facebook.com/survey/take.php?survey_id=242477152482072&cid=258497640937891

I don't know who Viki is, but she's not very good at her job. In fact, I've reported it twice and gotten the same reply. Maybe Viki is actually a robot.

Let's get this straight: Facebook takes down images of women breastfeeding, images of cancer survivors showing off their scars and tattoos, and body-positive images because there is a nipple distant in the background. However, Facebook leaves up pages that talk about raping women, calling them sluts, and this one, which promotes the sexual exploitation of minors AND blatantly displays graphic sexual images.

This is unacceptable and disgusting. Facebook's recent promise to take threats of violence against women seriously (which they should have been doing all along) indicates that this page has no business being on the site. Leaving it up, especially when positive non-explicit images are removed, just shows that in Facebook's eyes, women are unimportant. They are openly supporting hate, violence, and exploitation, and we need to stand against it.

When It Rains, It Pours, and Other Cliches About Happiness

I have been pretty busy for the last month or so. I started a new job, a summer class, and I moved to a new place. Whew!

I've decided to withdraw from the class for multiple reasons, financial and otherwise, but aside from that (and I have another post planned on the subject) everything is pretty great for me right now.

Two of my chief sources of unhappiness in recent years have been my inability to find enjoyable employment and the fact that I was still staying with my parents. Both of those things seemed like insurmountable problems, and I often felt I was collapsing under the weight of them.

The tide started to turn in early April, when I replied to a listserv email (I posted about this already) about a room. I finally moved in during the first weekend in May, and have settled nicely. I like my roommates (human and feline alike), it's a great location, and the space is a good one.

In addition to preparing to move, I was also hunting for a different job. While my previous position at the school library was perfectly alright, the distance and commute were making me unhappy. Then, again, fate happened. My mother forwarded a post to me from the Purl Bee, saying that the knitting and fabric shop Purl Soho was hiring. What you had to do to apply was go to the store before opening one Saturday, with a resume and some crafty samples, and talk to the managers. So I did. And they invited me back for a second interview the following week, which was a bit more of a practical test where I had to recommend yarns for a pattern and organize fabrics by color. Well, I must have done all of that right because they hired me!

So now on top of having my own space in a cute apartment in a great neighborhood, I have a part-time job at a really nice store, working with pretty great people and talking about something I love to do. Sure, I come home with aching feet, but I also come home smiling.

I haven't felt good about my life in a long time. It's a feeling I don't always know how to handle, but I like it. Sometimes, I catch myself smiling for no reason, which is something that never used to happen. It's a nice new development.

Reading List Progress

Summer Reading List

With my semester ending this week, I will finally have time to read for fun. So I've decided to make a list of the books I'd like to tackle this summer, which I've compiled into a list on Goodreads (feel free to friend me!) as well as below.


1. Game of Thrones - George R.R. Martin

2. Four to Score - Janet Evanovich

3. At Times I Almost Dream - Amy E. Yergen


4. The Casual Vacancy - J.K. Rowling

5. Cinderella Ate My Daughter - Peggy Orenstein

6. The Eleventh Plague - Jeff Hirsch


7. The Golden Compass - Philip Pullman

8. Legend - Marie Lu

9. Lady X's Cowboy - Zoe Archer

10. Hot & Heavy - Virgie Tovar


I will likely also tackle some school-related items, like The Content Analysis Handbook and a review of what we read this year, but I'm looking forward to some novels as well.

Friday Fashion: Just the Right Amount of Skin

As the weather warms, we need to find nice clothes that are cool and comfortable. Now, I'm never ever going to tell you that how much skin you show is dictated by your body. You should not feel obligated to cover up or show off based on how fat or thin you are, the size of your chest, or any other reason. But sometimes we have to be dressed a little nicer, or even go to work, when it's warm. So here are a few cute pieces that show a little skin while still being pretty widely appropriate.

Disclaimer type thing: Always follow your employer's dress code.

 

The back on this is sheer, so it may be best for a summer party or date night as opposed to work, but it's so cute I had to include it.

Fallon Lace Top, Lucie Lu, $34

Jolie Top, B&Lu, $32

Polka Dot Tie Front Blouse, Forever 21, $19.80

Corrie Shrug (great for over a tank), B&Lu, $26

Floral and Lace Bow Top, Forever 21, $17.80

Jersey Keyhole Blouse, Old Navy, $24.94

Cowl Neck Top, Old Navy, $24.94

Lace Yoke Tee, Old Navy, $24.94

Concern Trolling and Unattainable Perfection

Concern trolling is the act of pretending you care about someone as a means of bullying and harassing them. It's the person who hates all fat people but pretends to just be super worried for our health, for example.

People who do this don't actually care about whatever it is they say they care about. They hate. Whatever group it is they're after, it is out of loathing and prejudice. And it's yet another way we are expected to strive for an unattainable level of perfection.

I wrote about the burden of perfection before, and it hasn't gone anywhere. Previously, I was talking about how the internet and the lousy job market come together to make sure our every little move and flaw is held against us and that we must be utterly perfect in order to be considered for jobs. With concern trolling, it's more about social perfection.

We're too fat; we're too thin; we're too slutty; we're prudes; we're too this or too that. There is no winning. No matter what we do, we're doing it wrong. There's no way to work within a system like this, so the only way to overcome it is to take a radical instead of reformist stance.

This is where we reject and ignore everyone who tells us there's something wrong. All the magazines that give out diet tips, all the shows that ridicule wardrobes, all the commercials for magic pills and gyms, and so on. Throw them out, turn them off, whatever. Ignore people who say awful things on the internet. Don't let the trolls -- online or in real life -- dominate your mind.

If we were all perfect, no one would have anything to learn and life would be pretty boring. As trite and cliche as it sounds, our flaws are what make us who we are. Why are we constantly under pressure to eliminate the very things that make us interesting ? (The answer to that is money. If we hate ourselves it's easier to sell us self-improvement products.)

Obviously, a radical overhaul of the system is easier said than done, especially for people who need to find and keep a job. But we can live outside it in small ways, like what I listed above. Striking a balance between your needs and your principles won't always be easy, but it's part of growing up.