Things Women of an Arbitrary Age Should and Should Not Do

I keep seeing clickbait posts from various sources (that I won't give the satisfaction of linking to) outlining all the things women (always women!) should and shouldn't do, wear, and have after certain milestone ages like 25 or 30.

Apparently, women of a certain and arbitrary age shouldn't wear cheap makeup, buy the clothes we like, decorate our homes to our own aesthetic, enjoy our own hobbies, or have any fun or joy left in our lives. All for the sake of being a proper adult.

Here's the thing: shut up.

I'm 31 years old, and I wear cheap makeup because that's what I can afford. I have concert posters hanging in my bedroom because it makes me happy to think about those events and the fun I had.

They're not even framed! I reserved framing for my own photography, which I also have hanging because it makes me think of the fun events I shot and a hobby that I love.

I buy shotglasses as souvenirs because they're cheap and small, which makes them easy to transport and display. I also have a handful of vinyl bobbleheads because they make me think of stories I like that bring me happiness, plus they're cute.

Here's my list of what people of any gender should and should not do at any age:

• You SHOULD decorate your home in whatever way makes you happy.
• You SHOULD NOT pass judgment on others for hanging the art they like, framing it or not framing it as they see fit, or anything else superficial.
• You SHOULD do whatever hobbies make you happy as long as you aren't actively harming another living creature.
• You SHOULD NOT judge anyone else's hobbies.
• You SHOULD wear clothes that you like and that make you happy, while keeping in mind occasion appropriateness and work rules (sucks, but those do exist).
• You SHOULD NOT make rude comments or judgments about others' wardrobe choices.
• You SHOULD take care of yourself in the best way that you can, keeping in mind that this means different things for different people based on abilities, life situations, and priorities.
• You SHOULD NOT assume that others' priorities about their own health and happiness are the same as yours.
• You SHOULD NOT apologize for your fashion choices, lifestyle, weight, gender identity, sexual preference, hobbies, health priorities, living situation, career choices, or anything else that is not harming others.
• You SHOULD NOT expect others to apologize for or explain any of those things.

That's it. I honestly don't give a squirt if you want to play video games, wear $1 lipstick, decorate your place like the inside of Austin Powers' jet, or rock the word "juicy" on your ass. Whatever makes you happy.

Fatty Fitness

I've been participating in a fitness challenge through the website Fit Fatties. I signed up for a double decathlon, which means I have to do 20 events. It's a lot! But I've been looking for a reason to be more active and it's a fun motivator.

There's a list of events, and every time I finish one I take a picture with a sign saying what I did and share it to the Facebook group for the community. Getting a bunch of likes and comments from people for each one feels really good. Having a supportive community at your back is always an excellent thing.

What I really like is that talk of weight loss is expressly forbidden. I find those sorts of discussions triggering, so to have a space where I can talk about fitness without hearing that stuff.

Of course, you always run the risk of hearing it out in the world, especially if you're spending time in exercise environments, so I'm working on tuning it out and just enjoying the experience. I've signed up for a service called ClassPass, which is a flat rate for unlimited fitness classes around the city, and so far I haven't run into it.

Today I hit a class at Crunch called "Aerobics With An Attitude" -- it was like an updated version of the aerobics classes my mom taught when I was a kid. So I enjoyed the nostalgia aspect of it. I'm pretty wiped, but in a good way. I've got a stretch class, a pole dance class, and a Krav Maga class set up for this week, and I'm really looking forward to all three.

Don't Fat-Shame. Really, Just Don't Do It.

Seriously. Just don't fat-shame.

There's no point to it. It doesn't make people magically thinner. Being magically thinner wouldn't make people magically healthier. It doesn't make you superior. It doesn't do anything positive.

All it does it promote bigotry. It makes people hate themselves. It reveals that you are an ugly and small-minded individual full of prejudice.

It's worse for fat people than actually being fat. It's degrading to mental health. It promotes stereotypes. Stereotypes have real implications.

It leads to fat people being hired less. It leads to fat people hearing rude comments shouted at them from cars. It makes people feel awful.

It hides behind some veil of "helping." People who fat-shame get away with it because they think they're encouraging fat people to de-fat themselves. And apparently de-fatting is the be all and end all of...something.

But it just causes pain. It leads to depression and isolation and prejudice. It causes nothing good and everything bad.

So just don't do it.

I Am Not A Disease

I woke up this morning to learn I have a disease. Or, rather, that I AM a disease.

No, I did not receive a phone call from a doctor with some upsetting test results. I am exactly the same as I was yesterday, except the American Medical Association has decided to classify the body I have been living in for 29 years as diseased. Why? Simply because I am fat.

"Obesity" (which I put in quotes because, since it's calculated using the outdated BMI system, I consider it to be an abstract, arbitrary, and fake classification), they say, should be called a disease so we can have better "treatment options." In case you weren't aware, "treatment options" means "weight loss." Or "ew, fatty, stop being so fat."

Except, you know, the diet industry literally makes billions of dollars every year. The medical establishment already treats fat people horribly, many doctors are downright abusive and act like we are non-compliant, insolent children if we stick up for ourselves. They ignore the fact that practically no one keeps weight off (there's a 95 percent long-term failure rate), even after resorting to extremes like surgery.

Let's take this headline, from Forbes, into account:

That says it all to me. This is a way for drug companies to claim legitimacy as they waste time and resources to develop more diet pills that ultimately will have no more long term "success" (if you consider thinness a success) than anything already out there. They will divert scientists and efforts from researching things that actually plague us, like cancer, AIDS, and other diseases, or actual nutritional woes like world hunger.

On Twitter, there is a hashtag gaining some speed: #IAmNotADisease. It really shouldn't be necessary to start a social media campaign to point out that fat people are human beings, not walking illnesses, and that we deserve to be treated as such. But there are a few great tweets being sent:

The medical establishment needs to stop pathologizing body types and start promoting health at every size and basic human dignity. Let's focus on actual diseases instead of creating new ones where none exist.