- Don't be ashamed. People lose their jobs for a lot of reasons. Assuming you didn't do something awful like steal or harass people, try not to let the cause of your termination (if you were given one) haunt you. Forgive yourself if you need to, try to learn from it, and move forward.
- Rely on whatever support system you have. I am fortunate, I know, that my parents are nearby and willing to help me financially. I would prefer to be completely independent, but I'm not. And I have rent and bills that I need help with. Instead of wallowing, I am accepting the help while trying to find a way to get back on my feet.
- Apply for unemployment. Government aid is there for a reason. Besides, you were paying into it. There's no shame in taking help. That's why it exists. No, it won't solve all of your problems, but it's there to give you a little cushion so you aren't completely lost. The labor department for your state should have a website with info.
- Take some time to grieve, but don't wallow. Obviously, your financial need may dictate how long you can go before finding more work, but it can be healthy to take a few days and be sad and angry or consider plans for firebombing your former place of employment (note: don't actually do that). But don't let yourself fall into a hole you can't climb out of. Start looking for jobs as soon as you feel sort of human again.
- Keep yourself busy. It's really easy to sleep all day and watch Netflix all evening. And maybe that makes you feel better for a few days. But try and do some productive things as well. Clean your apartment. Read. Work on that novel, or some crafts, or whatever creative outlet you've been meaning to try. Find free events and explore your city. Find things that you enjoy but haven't had time to do, and do them in between sending out job applications.
- Stay up-to-date. Make sure your resume is accurate and you have a good basic cover letter you can tailor to different job applications. On top of that, keep abreast of happenings in your field. Do some research. Also, follow the news every day. If you land an interview you want to be as sharp as possible, and not like someone who just crawled out of a cave and threw on a suit.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Reflections on Losing My Job
In my last post, I wrote about having lost my job only a few days after it happened. In the nearly three weeks since then, I've been working on sorting out my feelings on the matter, and feel like I've figured a few things out. I'd like to share some tips and reflections I've come up with.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Sorting Out Feelings
It's been a few days, and I'm ready to talk about it more publicly: I was fired from Purl Soho on Friday.
I'm still not completely sure why. The manager wouldn't give me a concrete reason, only that it "wasn't a good fit." This has, of course, raised my hackles. I find this pretty suspicious. It seems to me that if it were a legit, concrete reason, I would have been told. So likely it was something superficial (my brain naturally goes to assuming the fat chick didn't fit into their aesthetic, which is all-white, female, and a bit snooty) that they couldn't tell me because of obvious reasons.
I have gone through a whole range of emotions since then. Anger, sadness, vengeance (is that an emotion? Whatever). I'm sure I'm not done yet, either. But I have to move on, because I'm too good to waste myself wallowing over a menial job.
So what's next? I don't know. I am going out of town this weekend, then again later in July, so I don't know that I'll be able to find another job right away. I have a little money saved from work and last year's student loans, so I will be OK until my fall loans come through. I also applied for unemployment, but I don't know if I worked long enough to collect.
Maybe I'll spend the next two months enjoying myself. Reading, exploring my city, and working on some writing and photography projects. Hey, J.K. Rowling was on public assistance when she wrote the first Harry Potter novel, and William Peter Blatty was collecting unemployment when he wrote The Exorcist.
I'm still not completely sure why. The manager wouldn't give me a concrete reason, only that it "wasn't a good fit." This has, of course, raised my hackles. I find this pretty suspicious. It seems to me that if it were a legit, concrete reason, I would have been told. So likely it was something superficial (my brain naturally goes to assuming the fat chick didn't fit into their aesthetic, which is all-white, female, and a bit snooty) that they couldn't tell me because of obvious reasons.
I have gone through a whole range of emotions since then. Anger, sadness, vengeance (is that an emotion? Whatever). I'm sure I'm not done yet, either. But I have to move on, because I'm too good to waste myself wallowing over a menial job.
So what's next? I don't know. I am going out of town this weekend, then again later in July, so I don't know that I'll be able to find another job right away. I have a little money saved from work and last year's student loans, so I will be OK until my fall loans come through. I also applied for unemployment, but I don't know if I worked long enough to collect.
Maybe I'll spend the next two months enjoying myself. Reading, exploring my city, and working on some writing and photography projects. Hey, J.K. Rowling was on public assistance when she wrote the first Harry Potter novel, and William Peter Blatty was collecting unemployment when he wrote The Exorcist.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
What I'm Making: Cap Sleeve Lattice Top With Size Adaptation
Welcome to the first installment of What I'm Working On. This is where I'll share the things that I'm making. It'll likely be mostly knitting, but also some other crafts.
Today I'm going to show off my work-in-progress Cap Sleeve Lattice Top, which is from the Purl Bee.
I've adapted the pattern, however. the original only comes in sizes S, M, and L, with only a two-inch difference between each size. Not a very inclusive system! Fortunately, it's a pretty straightforward pattern to size up. It just took a little math.
The largest size on the pattern is a 38-inch bust. I decided to make a 44-inch bust, and with two inches in between each size, I guess that makes it a 3X. All I did was take the gauge that they provided (six stitches to the inch) and multiply it by how many additional inches I needed. Since I wanted an extra six inches for the bust, I needed to cast on an additional 36 stitches. The instructions for size L say to cast on 115, and 115 + 36 = 151. The instructions say to cast on a multiple of three plus one, and fortunately 151 stitches fits that.
So, for a 40-inch bust (XL/1X), you would cast on 127 stitches, and for a 42-inch bust (2X), you would cast on 139. To go larger than I did, cast on as follows:
46-inch bust = 163 stitches
48-inch bust = 175 stitches
50-inch bust = 187 stitches
52-inch bust = 199 stitches
54-inch bust = 211 stitches
56-inch bust = 223 stitches
58-inch bust = 235 stitches
60-inch bust = 247 stitches
Simply adding six stitches for each inch you want to increase should work out for the multiples of three plus one pattern, but it's easy math to check.
From there, you can follow the pattern the same. All you're doing is ribbing, then stockinette, then lattice. You'll have to do some more math at the neckline, though. I haven't gotten to that point yet, so I haven't done it. Maybe in another installment I'll figure out the neck for larger sizes as well. I'm just getting into the lattice section now. It's a really simple pattern, and I think it's going to turn out really cute!
I decided to do all one color instead of switching at the lattice section, but that's just a personal aesthetic choice. I looked through the project gallery on Ravelry (you may have to be a member to view that) to see what color schemes I liked, and I was the most drawn to the ones that were monochromatic. So that's what I did! But you do you. Go wild if you want.
Today I'm going to show off my work-in-progress Cap Sleeve Lattice Top, which is from the Purl Bee.
I've adapted the pattern, however. the original only comes in sizes S, M, and L, with only a two-inch difference between each size. Not a very inclusive system! Fortunately, it's a pretty straightforward pattern to size up. It just took a little math.
The largest size on the pattern is a 38-inch bust. I decided to make a 44-inch bust, and with two inches in between each size, I guess that makes it a 3X. All I did was take the gauge that they provided (six stitches to the inch) and multiply it by how many additional inches I needed. Since I wanted an extra six inches for the bust, I needed to cast on an additional 36 stitches. The instructions for size L say to cast on 115, and 115 + 36 = 151. The instructions say to cast on a multiple of three plus one, and fortunately 151 stitches fits that.
So, for a 40-inch bust (XL/1X), you would cast on 127 stitches, and for a 42-inch bust (2X), you would cast on 139. To go larger than I did, cast on as follows:
46-inch bust = 163 stitches
48-inch bust = 175 stitches
50-inch bust = 187 stitches
52-inch bust = 199 stitches
54-inch bust = 211 stitches
56-inch bust = 223 stitches
58-inch bust = 235 stitches
60-inch bust = 247 stitches
Simply adding six stitches for each inch you want to increase should work out for the multiples of three plus one pattern, but it's easy math to check.
From there, you can follow the pattern the same. All you're doing is ribbing, then stockinette, then lattice. You'll have to do some more math at the neckline, though. I haven't gotten to that point yet, so I haven't done it. Maybe in another installment I'll figure out the neck for larger sizes as well. I'm just getting into the lattice section now. It's a really simple pattern, and I think it's going to turn out really cute!
I decided to do all one color instead of switching at the lattice section, but that's just a personal aesthetic choice. I looked through the project gallery on Ravelry (you may have to be a member to view that) to see what color schemes I liked, and I was the most drawn to the ones that were monochromatic. So that's what I did! But you do you. Go wild if you want.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
I Am Not A Disease
I woke up this morning to learn I have a disease. Or, rather, that I AM a disease.
No, I did not receive a phone call from a doctor with some upsetting test results. I am exactly the same as I was yesterday, except the American Medical Association has decided to classify the body I have been living in for 29 years as diseased. Why? Simply because I am fat.
"Obesity" (which I put in quotes because, since it's calculated using the outdated BMI system, I consider it to be an abstract, arbitrary, and fake classification), they say, should be called a disease so we can have better "treatment options." In case you weren't aware, "treatment options" means "weight loss." Or "ew, fatty, stop being so fat."
Except, you know, the diet industry literally makes billions of dollars every year. The medical establishment already treats fat people horribly, many doctors are downright abusive and act like we are non-compliant, insolent children if we stick up for ourselves. They ignore the fact that practically no one keeps weight off (there's a 95 percent long-term failure rate), even after resorting to extremes like surgery.
Let's take this headline, from Forbes, into account:
That says it all to me. This is a way for drug companies to claim legitimacy as they waste time and resources to develop more diet pills that ultimately will have no more long term "success" (if you consider thinness a success) than anything already out there. They will divert scientists and efforts from researching things that actually plague us, like cancer, AIDS, and other diseases, or actual nutritional woes like world hunger.
On Twitter, there is a hashtag gaining some speed: #IAmNotADisease. It really shouldn't be necessary to start a social media campaign to point out that fat people are human beings, not walking illnesses, and that we deserve to be treated as such. But there are a few great tweets being sent:
The medical establishment needs to stop pathologizing body types and start promoting health at every size and basic human dignity. Let's focus on actual diseases instead of creating new ones where none exist.
No, I did not receive a phone call from a doctor with some upsetting test results. I am exactly the same as I was yesterday, except the American Medical Association has decided to classify the body I have been living in for 29 years as diseased. Why? Simply because I am fat.
"Obesity" (which I put in quotes because, since it's calculated using the outdated BMI system, I consider it to be an abstract, arbitrary, and fake classification), they say, should be called a disease so we can have better "treatment options." In case you weren't aware, "treatment options" means "weight loss." Or "ew, fatty, stop being so fat."
Except, you know, the diet industry literally makes billions of dollars every year. The medical establishment already treats fat people horribly, many doctors are downright abusive and act like we are non-compliant, insolent children if we stick up for ourselves. They ignore the fact that practically no one keeps weight off (there's a 95 percent long-term failure rate), even after resorting to extremes like surgery.
Let's take this headline, from Forbes, into account:
That says it all to me. This is a way for drug companies to claim legitimacy as they waste time and resources to develop more diet pills that ultimately will have no more long term "success" (if you consider thinness a success) than anything already out there. They will divert scientists and efforts from researching things that actually plague us, like cancer, AIDS, and other diseases, or actual nutritional woes like world hunger.
On Twitter, there is a hashtag gaining some speed: #IAmNotADisease. It really shouldn't be necessary to start a social media campaign to point out that fat people are human beings, not walking illnesses, and that we deserve to be treated as such. But there are a few great tweets being sent:
The medical establishment needs to stop pathologizing body types and start promoting health at every size and basic human dignity. Let's focus on actual diseases instead of creating new ones where none exist.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
A New Room
I've been in my new place for about a month and a half now, and I'm really happy. I'm getting along with my roommates, which is definitely a nice change from the other place I lived last year, plus my room is pretty big, there's the outdoor space I wrote about awhile ago, and two cats. It's a good location and a fair price. I can't complain!
I thought I'd show off a few shots of my room. A lot of stuff I moved here from my parents' place, like my rolling table, my bed, and my gray drawers. But I had to buy a chest of drawers, plus I have a desk and an apothecary chest that used to be my grandmother's. I was also able to find floating bookshelves, which are great. I have high ceilings, so I wanted to utilize the upward space. Plus, I've seen those on TV shows and thought they were really cool.
It's a really great room, and I'm happy here. I still need to get an air conditioner for my window, though. My big box fan is doing a pretty good job, but it won't cut it once summer really sets in!
I thought I'd show off a few shots of my room. A lot of stuff I moved here from my parents' place, like my rolling table, my bed, and my gray drawers. But I had to buy a chest of drawers, plus I have a desk and an apothecary chest that used to be my grandmother's. I was also able to find floating bookshelves, which are great. I have high ceilings, so I wanted to utilize the upward space. Plus, I've seen those on TV shows and thought they were really cool.
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| He is more deserving of my attention than The West Wing, apparently. |
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Ideal Relaxation
The weather has been weird in New York lately. It took forever to feel like spring, but then it shot up to the 90s all of a sudden. I was afraid we'd blow right into summer without stopping for any of that nice, warm-but-not-too-hot middle range that springtime brings.
Today, though, it was lovely out. It was a nice balance of warm in the sun and cool in the shade, and with little to do, I decided to relax and have lunch on my patio. I cooked some Gardein teriyaki "chicken" strips with some snap peas and had them with a small glass of moscato. It was lovely.
Simply joy. That's what I'm looking for this summer.
Today, though, it was lovely out. It was a nice balance of warm in the sun and cool in the shade, and with little to do, I decided to relax and have lunch on my patio. I cooked some Gardein teriyaki "chicken" strips with some snap peas and had them with a small glass of moscato. It was lovely.
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| It's not a bad view. |
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| This is his happy face |
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| Yum |
Facebook's Sex Trafficking Problem: A Follow-Up
So, the Sonagachi Facebook page has finally been removed. This is a good thing, and I'm proud to be part of the group of people who worked to have it done.
But I'm also incredibly disappointed in Facebook. Why did it take this much work to remove a page that was blatantly graphic and in promotion of human trafficking? Why was this example of violence against women not immediately recognized as a violation of their terms of service?
In light of WAM's successful campaign to get Facebook to agree to give gender-based hate speech the same treatment as homophobic, anti-Semitic, racist, Islamophobic, etc, hate speech, it seems especially appalling that it took as much effort as it did to have this removed.
Here is a brief overview of the process of reporting this page:
June 4
-My friend Liz discovered the page while doing research into the Sonagachi district for a blog post she is writing.
-She shared the page with a Facebook group that we are both members of, asking anyone who could stomach looking at the page to please report it.
-Many of us reported it as sexually graphic content.
-After a short period of time, those of us who reported it began receiving the emails saying it would not be removed (I included the language in my post last night). Many of us filled out the feedback form with some strongly-worded disagreement.
-Some of us reported it a second time, only to receive the same email, and fill out the feedback again.
-Liz wrote about the process on her own blog. Another friend, Slay Belle, wrote about it for the Powder Room section of Jezebel.
-We share these posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr, sometimes tweeting at well-known feminist activists and groups who might also promote the issue.
-Emails were sent to WAM
June 5
-The Jezebel post was promoted to the first page of the site.
-More people tweeted at Nick Kristof, Anderson Cooper, and other individuals they thought might be interested in the story.
-Women's Media Center shared Liz's blog post
-Liz's post was also published on Persephone Magazine
-The Daily Dot picked up the story
-Another member of the same original Facebook group created a Change.org petition (which has been refocused to be a more general plea for the site to take trafficking pages more seriously)
-The Sonagachi fan page was removed
I repeat my question: why did it take almost a full day, dozens of reports, a social media barrage, and blog attention to get this page removed? Why was it not enough that it was full of graphic imagery and victimization of women, many of whom appear underage?
Why, despite their recent promises, does Facebook still not care about women?
But I'm also incredibly disappointed in Facebook. Why did it take this much work to remove a page that was blatantly graphic and in promotion of human trafficking? Why was this example of violence against women not immediately recognized as a violation of their terms of service?
In light of WAM's successful campaign to get Facebook to agree to give gender-based hate speech the same treatment as homophobic, anti-Semitic, racist, Islamophobic, etc, hate speech, it seems especially appalling that it took as much effort as it did to have this removed.
Here is a brief overview of the process of reporting this page:
June 4
-My friend Liz discovered the page while doing research into the Sonagachi district for a blog post she is writing.
-She shared the page with a Facebook group that we are both members of, asking anyone who could stomach looking at the page to please report it.
-Many of us reported it as sexually graphic content.
-After a short period of time, those of us who reported it began receiving the emails saying it would not be removed (I included the language in my post last night). Many of us filled out the feedback form with some strongly-worded disagreement.
-Some of us reported it a second time, only to receive the same email, and fill out the feedback again.
-Liz wrote about the process on her own blog. Another friend, Slay Belle, wrote about it for the Powder Room section of Jezebel.
-We share these posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr, sometimes tweeting at well-known feminist activists and groups who might also promote the issue.
-Emails were sent to WAM
June 5
-The Jezebel post was promoted to the first page of the site.
-More people tweeted at Nick Kristof, Anderson Cooper, and other individuals they thought might be interested in the story.
-Women's Media Center shared Liz's blog post
-Liz's post was also published on Persephone Magazine
-The Daily Dot picked up the story
-Another member of the same original Facebook group created a Change.org petition (which has been refocused to be a more general plea for the site to take trafficking pages more seriously)
-The Sonagachi fan page was removed
I repeat my question: why did it take almost a full day, dozens of reports, a social media barrage, and blog attention to get this page removed? Why was it not enough that it was full of graphic imagery and victimization of women, many of whom appear underage?
Why, despite their recent promises, does Facebook still not care about women?
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