Professionalism and Oppression

Early in the life of this blog, I was trying to focus on being "adultish" -- which included some fashion and lifestyle tips and musings that reflected on acting more mature and professional. But lately, I've been wondering, what does that even mean?

At some point not too long ago, I was introduced to a site called Dress Profesh, which comes with the tagline "challenging notions of what it means to look 'professional.'" It shows people of all different sizes, races, and genders wearing what they work in. It really snaps into focus the fact that being "professional" is an arbitrary and often oppressive guideline.

A post was just going around a few days ago in which a college senior was rejected from a tech job because the guys that interviewed her claimed her outfit was more for "clubbing" than interviewing. There are plenty of people out there who think her tasteful top, skirt, sweater, and tights outfit is "unprofessional" because it's not a suit, ignoring the fact that tech companies are usually pretty casual, and in fact, overdressing too much can make an interviewee look out of touch with the culture of their field.

Regardless, insisting that everyone on the job hunt wear a suit is one of those oppressive things about the notion of professionalism that I take issue with. Suits are expensive. If you're long-unemployed, or you're a college student just starting out, even a find at Marshall's or a thrift store can be out of your budget. Plus, if you don't wear a straight size, or you are a woman with a large chest, it might be impossible to find anything that will even cover your body -- let alone fit well and be without cleavage -- especially when price is a dire concern. Additionally, if you are fat or busty (or both, like I am), there are some who will always classify you as unprofessional. No matter what you wear, being too fat will likely get you called sloppy, and simply having a large chest will get you classed as sexy or inappropriate.

There are racial implications, as well. Black people are often maligned for having natural hairstyles like Afros or dreadlocks -- women are generally expected to relax their hair and wear it straight, or wear a weave, to look "professional," for example. That is, if they even get an interview to begin with, since people with white/European sounding names are more likely to get called than someone with a more "ethnic" (for lack of a better word) names.

The idea of professionalism is outdated and ridiculous. It should be enough to say, perhaps, make sure you are wearing anything required for safety, your naughty bits are covered, you don't smell, and you aren't wearing hate speech symbols. Anything beyond that is unnecessary, and upholds a white supremacist, cisnormative, heteronormative, sexist, sizeist, kyriarchical structure.

Friday Fashion: Claws

Claws by reluctantlyadultish featuring a fleece lined beanie hat

There's something comfy-casual but still fun about this cape. I'd like it more in a different print (I have issues with it being called "Aztec") but the shape is great. And that t-shirt is too fun for words.

Studying the (Relatively) Unstudied

I need to find an adviser.

My school assigned one to me, of course, but I have to have a second. An external adviser, to help with the subject matter of my dissertation. See, I'm in an interdisciplinary field -- Information Studies -- and part of my program involves taking courses in a co-related area, in addition to the external adviser search.

So what's the problem? Why can't I just ask one of my sociology professors to do it?

I could, technically. But none of the classes I'm taking is exactly where I want to focus my research. I want to write my dissertation on the fat acceptance movement, but classes that address it pretty much do not exist, so I've been taking sociology classes that relate to other areas of marginalization that intersect with the body. I took sociology of power last summer, I'm taking race and ethnicity right now, and I will take sociology of gender this coming summer.

The soci of power professor was just this side of hostile about my doing my final project on the size acceptance movement, on top of the time she announced to the class off-hand that she was putting an appetite suppressant in her water bottle. So that's definitely not going to work. My current professor is much better, and was extremely receptive to my doing my final paper on race and body image. I really like her and the class, but her research areas aren't close to my interests for this project at all.

My last hope for finding someone in these classes will be the gender course this summer. If that professor doesn't work, I'm sort of at a loss. I guess I'll have to try and find someone in the area that does focus on fat studies or something related to that and meets the qualifications for being an external adviser (I have to find out exactly what those are).

I have until winter to do so, but I'd like to get the person lined up as soon as I can, if for no reason other than to lift the stress off myself.

Friday Fashion: Spring Forward

Spring Forward by reluctantlyadultish featuring pink handbags

Friday Fashion: Easter Edition

Happy Easter by reluctantlyadultish featuring fishing hats

Friday Fashion: Ready to Rock

Ready to Rock by reluctantlyadultish featuring flat shoes

Things Women of an Arbitrary Age Should and Should Not Do

I keep seeing clickbait posts from various sources (that I won't give the satisfaction of linking to) outlining all the things women (always women!) should and shouldn't do, wear, and have after certain milestone ages like 25 or 30.

Apparently, women of a certain and arbitrary age shouldn't wear cheap makeup, buy the clothes we like, decorate our homes to our own aesthetic, enjoy our own hobbies, or have any fun or joy left in our lives. All for the sake of being a proper adult.

Here's the thing: shut up.

I'm 31 years old, and I wear cheap makeup because that's what I can afford. I have concert posters hanging in my bedroom because it makes me happy to think about those events and the fun I had.

They're not even framed! I reserved framing for my own photography, which I also have hanging because it makes me think of the fun events I shot and a hobby that I love.

I buy shotglasses as souvenirs because they're cheap and small, which makes them easy to transport and display. I also have a handful of vinyl bobbleheads because they make me think of stories I like that bring me happiness, plus they're cute.

Here's my list of what people of any gender should and should not do at any age:

• You SHOULD decorate your home in whatever way makes you happy.
• You SHOULD NOT pass judgment on others for hanging the art they like, framing it or not framing it as they see fit, or anything else superficial.
• You SHOULD do whatever hobbies make you happy as long as you aren't actively harming another living creature.
• You SHOULD NOT judge anyone else's hobbies.
• You SHOULD wear clothes that you like and that make you happy, while keeping in mind occasion appropriateness and work rules (sucks, but those do exist).
• You SHOULD NOT make rude comments or judgments about others' wardrobe choices.
• You SHOULD take care of yourself in the best way that you can, keeping in mind that this means different things for different people based on abilities, life situations, and priorities.
• You SHOULD NOT assume that others' priorities about their own health and happiness are the same as yours.
• You SHOULD NOT apologize for your fashion choices, lifestyle, weight, gender identity, sexual preference, hobbies, health priorities, living situation, career choices, or anything else that is not harming others.
• You SHOULD NOT expect others to apologize for or explain any of those things.

That's it. I honestly don't give a squirt if you want to play video games, wear $1 lipstick, decorate your place like the inside of Austin Powers' jet, or rock the word "juicy" on your ass. Whatever makes you happy.